There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
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I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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