So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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