Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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