Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
