somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"