my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
As shirtless as possible
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
