Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  enjoy the hospital

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy (860): enjoy the hospital http://tfl.nu/9tp2
  Replies (7) Good night (2374) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth http://tfl.nu/rgv0
  Replies (19) Good night (1047) Bad night (4722)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase http://tfl.nu/yg43
  Replies (11) Good night (4742) Bad night (1503)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned. http://tfl.nu/hdoa
  Replies (10) Good night (1425) Bad night (4972)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub? http://tfl.nu/jp28
  Replies (5) Good night (2269) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs. http://tfl.nu/e8xn
  Replies (6) Good night (2090) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745. http://tfl.nu/vvre
  Replies (4) Good night (1392) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7. http://tfl.nu/on6e
  Replies (10) Good night (1475) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (289): This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break. http://tfl.nu/v46r
  Replies (4) Good night (954) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town. http://tfl.nu/ynab
  Replies (4) Good night (947) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy. http://tfl.nu/mfv7
  Replies (9) Good night (1583) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk http://tfl.nu/qdf4
  Replies (1) Good night (1036) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book... http://tfl.nu/q46p
  Replies (5) Good night (1316) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that. http://tfl.nu/ii5o
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball... http://tfl.nu/m00r
  Replies (0) Good night (336) Bad night (192)

Randomize