I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
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DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
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You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
as a side note pls kill me