I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
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just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
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No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.