I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
