well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
