I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
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