Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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