Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
