So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
