He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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