Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize