he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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