Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Randomize