just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
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They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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