i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
