Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
pop tarts are not kleenex
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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