Just cropdusted the office
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
