Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize