it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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