I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
