Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just pee around me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
