I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Pants are for mortals
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
