I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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