I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
