Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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