i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
