i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize