i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
In America we eat man semen.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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