If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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