do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
