i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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