You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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