This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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