Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You were trust falling into bushes
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
