just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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