no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
