I CAN MOONWALK!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
