I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I am available for nakedness
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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