I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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