if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
