I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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