he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
