fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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