there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
