It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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