no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize