I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
