Sry I called you an 8
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
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My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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