I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
