just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
