Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
