The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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