"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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