Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
no. you can't hotbox the world.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
