I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
