My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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