The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize